Avian Observer Gifts

He seems healthy, but I'd like to keep him here for observation.

Inflatable Duck Boat

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Bird Torture.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'I think he's lonely.'

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Horse statue throws off rider.

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

'The workday comes to an end at the Audubon Society.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Birds doing the 'wave'.

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'