Avian Music Aficionado T-Shirts

"Actually, I'm a singer-songwriter bird."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

Anna Calvi

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

Orchestra.

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

"Toi Toi Toi!"

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

Elvis Presley

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Bird Torture.

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Eric Clapton.

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

Fossil record player.