Avian Antics Aficionado T-Shirts

"Men."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Do me next."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

bird interprets modern art

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Caliologist

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'You reek of crackers.'

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

The doctor says if it doesn't come out soon, she'll have to induce.