Avian Hobbyist T-Shirts

"The feeder is for George."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

bird interprets modern art

"Is this the first time you've been fishing?"

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Bird Torture.

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

'I think he's lonely.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath