Avian Care T-Shirts

"I want more than a cracker! I want a family and security . . . okay, and a cracker!"

'I think he wants a larger cage.'

'I took a class in avian first aid. Now I can treat any wound I get from the birds.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Do me next."

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

Caliologist

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

'You reek of crackers.'