Avian Advisors T-Shirts

"Be honest – is my pouch starting to sag?"

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

Caliologist

"Lovely robin ... though, I'm sensing a little attitude."

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

'I'm making one of the craters into a birdbath.'

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

'Geez, what's with the delay?'

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

Ted enjoyed going to the park and feeding the woodpeckers.

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

'It's a symbiotic relationship. That lineman can crush quarterbacks with his bare hands...'

'It's always the same design. I wish he'd get a more imaginative set of house plans.'

'My husband and I are real bird lovers.'

I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator. You're going to learn to fly on your own.

"We must be in the wrong wing."

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

"What are the prevailing winds?"

Woodpecker House

"We've only got one parrot remember."

How to tell you might be getting too close with your pet.

"I'm not going to hammer it in. You hammer it in."

'If it happened at your birdhouse, your homeowner's insurance should cover it.'

'Are you a friend or a relative of the bird?'

Foolish Sid turns to look, and is immediately tackled and devoured by the duck.

Bird box with amenities (plumbing, electricity).

"You don't want me. I've got bird flu!"

'Honey, you're spoiling those birds!'

"Good heavens! She cooked Uncle Henry!"