Avian Amusement Enthusiast Pillows

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Do me next."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Fist Bumper Cars

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

bird interprets modern art

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

Halo Frisbee.

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Caliologist

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

'You reek of crackers.'