Avian Antics Appreciator Pillows

"Mating display of the white-bellied boobie"

"Stop serving Table 3 complimentary bread."

'This good home he came from-it wasn't an old SAILORS home was it?'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Skipping Horse

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

'Bert's dog training.'

'Go on, Andy, it's high time anteaters learned size isn't everything!'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Social Distancing Club

Bird Torture.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'Remember me?'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'I think he's lonely.'

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."