Avian Amusement Enthusiast Gifts

"After the Great Seagull Reincarnation, we'll spend eternity stealing sandwiches and defecating as we please."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Do me next."

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Fist Bumper Cars

bird interprets modern art

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

Halo Frisbee.

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Birds on a wire, "Bernie?...Oh he's gone cable!"

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

Caliologist

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'You reek of crackers.'