Avian Admirer From Above T-Shirts

"I belonged to the Audubon Society."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"Do me next."

"This year we decided to vacation on the 3rd rock."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Birds of the Pacific Northwest: Belted Kingfisher

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Bird Torture.

bird interprets modern art

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'I think he's lonely.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

The melting polar ice caps

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'