Avant-garde Explorer T-Shirts

Sign on wall of spacious empty hall of museum: 'Air & Space Exhibit'

"That's what I call an off-off-off-off-off Broadway show!"

The Vineyard

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

The Lost World: You are Here

Crab with a clown face.

Those Were The Days

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

Kid doing cave paintings

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"Outré or simply bad?"

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Are my breasts AI? No! My cartoonist would never use AI!"

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

Maria Sibylla Merian

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

Mammoth Posing

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"Wow! I knew you were rich, but I didn't know you were that rich!"

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"I can write, but I can't draw."

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'