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The Ascension of the Rose of Lima

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'Projectile painting.'

Jazz is Invented

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

The Cremaster Cycle

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

The revolution that hit Hollywood hardest:The Thinking Pictures."

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"Outré or simply bad?"

Gianni Tatti's Dining-Room Chair

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"Please turn on your cell phones."

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

Igor Stravinsky

The Bland Leading the Bland

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'