Avant-garde Aficionado Pillows

"To be honest, nobody wants to buy your paintings... we need a promotional strategy! Cut off your ear in public!"

Henry Moore

The Cremaster Cycle

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

R. Mutt 1917

Aubrey Beardsley's Book-Plate

"If we want to engage with people who haven't yet recognised the value of their union, then we have to think outside the box."

Eric Satie

Arnold Schoenberg

'Isn't that wonderful? We both suffer from intellectual angst!'

Never mind the Bartoks.

'God, it's a relief to get away from that exhibition of a bit.'

'Can you tell me the time please?'

"This one is called 'Window of a Car I Flew Over'."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Paul Klee

Cariactures

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

(Camel paintings)

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

German Expressionist Breakfast

"Mr. Right!"

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Horti-Culture

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Distractions Of The Great

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'