Automotive Marketer T-Shirts

"Or, if you don't want all your capital tied up, lease for just $12 a month."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

Larry's used art

'How fast can you hype?'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

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'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Mohammad's motors

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

'God's speed.'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"I'll start thinking outside the box when the box is empty."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."

'How about a nice saloon?'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"The Curse of the robot followers: At first, Rob was thrilled with the all the attention and followers."

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

"As an expert in loyalty, Fido will create an emotional bond with each customer."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"We could hire some sign-wavers to stand by the side of the road and advertise our product."

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."