Automobile Service Advisor Gifts

"Of course that's only an estimate. The actual cost ill be somewhat more."

In the Guru District

"Take me to your mechanic."

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Professor Freely's new alternative fuel source did have its drawbacks.

Volkswagen Scandal

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

Natural gas

The American Nightmare.

A world choked with people mindlessly on the move

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"Tesla's founder Elon Musk launched his spacex rocket today with a successful pinpoint return to earth. . . General motors said it would rebuild its plant and start again from scratch."

"It's worse than I thought."

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

Peak oil and the limited future of petrol cars.

'Well,here's the answer to why your car has been running so rough in the mornings Mr.Tait...It's pregnant!'

Your big end has gone

Motor Co - It's from Head Office, we've all got to be Crypton tuned.

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE

"I guess our moral GPS malfunctioned."

Mechanic: 'A grinding sound, eh? Maybe she needs a new paint job.'

Road kill - Foreign competition beating US auto domination.

Mufflers.

'Those Japanese have gone too far this time!'

Volkswagen with skull face

'It was nothing serious, just bugs in your radiator grill.'

'Your replacement parts cost seven quid, plus two hours labour and VAT makes two hundred quid.' - 'How much?!' - 'Listen, pal. I've got kids to feed.' - 'How much do they eat?' - 'Just one more mouthful, my son. You must grow big and strong so that you ma