Automobile Sales Gifts

"Never mind it was voted 'Car of the Year' by car thieves."

"Oh ... it's a sub-compact. From across the showroom it looked like you were standing next to an SUV."

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Mohammad's motors

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'God's speed.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'How about a nice saloon?'

'And here's the toolkit.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

"I'm looking for a car with backseat performance."

"It's a sports car. It's supposed to be uncomfortable."

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

Top model