Automobile Sales T-Shirts

"Never mind it was voted 'Car of the Year' by car thieves."

"Oh ... it's a sub-compact. From across the showroom it looked like you were standing next to an SUV."

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

Mohammad's motors

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'God's speed.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'You seem qualified. What concerns me is the car you're driving. It's not sending out the right message.'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

'And here's the toolkit.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'

"It's a sports car. It's supposed to be uncomfortable."

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”