Auto Sales T-Shirts

"Nope, no airbags. But did I mention the heavy-duty seatbelts?"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Hey! Forget your troubles. Come on, get happy!"

'Dependable, basic transportation. Guaranteed to drive the ladies wild, especially low-maintenance ones.'

"This vehicle also has a rear blind spot elimination assistant fitted as standard."

"This year's model makes everything before it look like garbage." "I'm looking for a used car." "Last year's model is destined to become a classic!"

'I'm mostly interested in quick getaway.'

"With all of the long lines because of road repair, this car idles the best.

"I can grab the keys if you'd like to try it on."

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

Mohammad's motors

'God's speed.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'And here's the toolkit.'

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

'How about a nice saloon?'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”