Auto Sales T-Shirts

"Nope, no airbags. But did I mention the heavy-duty seatbelts?"

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"Hey! Forget your troubles. Come on, get happy!"

'Dependable, basic transportation. Guaranteed to drive the ladies wild, especially low-maintenance ones.'

"This vehicle also has a rear blind spot elimination assistant fitted as standard."

"This year's model makes everything before it look like garbage." "I'm looking for a used car." "Last year's model is destined to become a classic!"

'I'm mostly interested in quick getaway.'

"With all of the long lines because of road repair, this car idles the best.

"I can grab the keys if you'd like to try it on."

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

Mohammad's motors

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'God's speed.'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

'How about a nice saloon?'

'And here's the toolkit.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

Barry gradually realised that buying a small car had its disadvantages

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”