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'The bass has shattered the windows in all my neigbor's homes. They hate me, but they like my car.'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"What old school? This is my life."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

Roads with a view.

"Perfect."

Car wash / Mouth wash

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

Nice park. . .

'I don't think you can claim for this as a substitute car ...'

Talking car "Are we there yet?"

Pump up a tire/Pump up a jam

"Apparently it's my fault, somehow, that we have an S.U.V."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'Nice smile.'

Cars at the drive in.

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

It started with a giggling sound in the suspension, then a noise in the ventilator, and then...

A dog drives a car while a man has two broken arms.

Driver test: Clown's big feet create challenge

'It's time for us to end this drought! You wash the cars and I'll go to the hairdresser.'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."