Auto Aesthetician T-Shirts

"Good question. On the surface, it's a dainty, attractive car! But undernearth, it's nothing but guy...a touch of friskiness mixed with subtle power!"

'My electric car is giving me static!'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

'This facial cream is called 'High Definition'...it brings out beauty in sharp, wonderful detail.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

'Botox...'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

You were fixing cars in your sleep again.

'Would you do that noise that your car makes on more time...it's hilarious!'

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"Apricot pit?! Are you kidding, Mister? This stuff knocks raw avocado and almond nut outta the water!!!"

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Sebum! I think you'll love this property on the left side of the chin. It's a wonderful place to start a pimple."

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

He did love tinkering on his cars.

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

Tragedy and Remedy.

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Headpiece to E Dowson's 'The Pierrot of the Minute'

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"Remember when I told you rust might become a problem in the future?"

'Sometimes I wonder how things would have turned out, if I'd gotten Mom's eyes and Dad's hair.'

'You need orthopedic brake shoes.'

"Ugh. When will this acne go away?"