Austerity Aficionado Gifts

Tightening the belt in the European Union.

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

Will work for ETFs

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Business News.

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

Conservative Leadership Renounces Protectionism

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"It takes a while for technological advances to benefit everybody equally."

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

Fat happy businessman with a euro coin printed on his chest

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

We live in turbulent times. Therefore I'm keeping you in turbulent stocks

Pandora's box.

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

How to do without

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

"Under the new tax plan, do we get it in the neck more or less than under the old tax plan?"

"The streets are paved with spotlessly clean gold."

Bank of Greece: "Revolving Door...Turbo Speed!"

'He arranged it himself. Let's face it he really was the skinflint's skinflint...'

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"He was right about saving that box. It did come in handy."

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."