Austerity Aficionado Gifts

Tightening the belt in the European Union.

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Will work for ETFs

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Business News.

Pre-Old Blues

Conservative Leadership Renounces Protectionism

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

"I've deregulated Arthur, but he still doesn't run very efficiently."

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

"It takes a while for technological advances to benefit everybody equally."

Fat happy businessman with a euro coin printed on his chest

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

We live in turbulent times. Therefore I'm keeping you in turbulent stocks

Pandora's box.

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'Gentlemen, it's time we tightened our belts.'

Great. What do I get the man who already HAS nothing? It's a birthday party.

You have two rocks? --- The economy is growing!

How to do without

"Do you have this in an $11.99?"

'Generally, cost-cutting is a good thing. Specifically, too much of a good thing.'

"Under the new tax plan, do we get it in the neck more or less than under the old tax plan?"

"The streets are paved with spotlessly clean gold."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"I wanted to give Christmas bonuses but that would violate the separation of church and business."

Bank of Greece: "Revolving Door...Turbo Speed!"

'Remember, Henderson - A penny saved is a departmental oversight.'