Austerity Observer Gifts

"Wot, no economy?"

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

'The great thing is, the poor won't be able to squander it on luxuries such as dignity, equality and hope!'

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

'Stocks dropped on the news that governments can fool some people come of the time,but not all the people all of the time.'

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

Pre-Old Blues

'I've been sent by the board to ask if you'd be willing to cut your symbolic one dollar a year salary to fifty cents.'

"Business is so bad even my hotcakes aren't selling like hotcakes."

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'Grandpa, what was manufacturing?'

"This just in! Due to downsizing, the mega-merger of Consolidated Industries and Humungous Corporation has been changed to a simple bankruptcy."

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

'In the economy, money is the lure.'

Supermarket Merge

'Get out there and keep your job!'

Euro against the Dollar.

'Why don't you start a small business with a loan from a bank?'

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

Exchange Rate.

'Would you please wipe away this difference?'

"He downgraded Apple."

V-O Day

'I'm afraid there's been a 23% cut in the 'empathy and compassion' budget so you'll have to tell him to sod off now!'

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

Stock Market Roller-coaster.

Business isn't booming.

'Oh, just sitting around, waiting for the next computer generated trading bubble to burst, sending the market into death spiral.'

'We've completed the spending review and there won't be any.'

"Fellow M.B.A. graduates of the Class of '91—hey, what can I say?"