Audience Participation Fan Gifts

'Does my bum look big on this'

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Taking a peek at the audience

Senta jumps into the sea

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

And the die is cast!

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

"Returns"

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

"This isn't what I had in mind. . ."

Armless chainsaw juggler.

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

"Now you're thinking outside the box!"

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

Lack of Euro Vision

Pavlov and His Trained Dog.

Public speaking

Distracted by the Senator's mesmerizing speech, Willard inadvertently pushes the wrong button.

Vice On Ice.

"Some are born old."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

Tightrope Battle Tank

A performance by the synchronized snow shovellers of scarsdale

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"