Audience Participation Fan Gifts

'Does my bum look big on this'

Antiques for Oldies: Squeal Now.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Taking a peek at the audience

Senta jumps into the sea

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

"Returns"

"This next song is about a trip to Vermont. It's called 'This is the whitest state I've ever seen—wow!'"

And the die is cast!

ABBA

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

Armless chainsaw juggler.

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

Open Mike Night Presents the Comedy Stylings of Rudy Park. Did you hear about the iPhone that hired the best wedding planner in the country because it wanted a great reception? Clap. And then there was the autocorrect programmer who got rejected when he asked a lady out on a debate. The romance didn't last long when the cable tv box found out how spacey the satellite tv box was. Get off the stage! The one who invented binary code was a real zero. Boo. Hiss. I don't even get that one, and I'm gla

"This isn't what I had in mind. . ."

"This next song exposes the hypocrisy of everyone here."

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

"Now you're thinking outside the box!"

"A lot of voter's will be floating today."

Intramission

'I hope he doesn't pick on ME!'

"You missed the garlic. The place went nuts when he added the garlic."

Lack of Euro Vision

Pavlov and His Trained Dog.

Distracted by the Senator's mesmerizing speech, Willard inadvertently pushes the wrong button.

Vice On Ice.

"Some are born old."

Public speaking

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

I didn't think I would, but I miss being booed.

A performance by the synchronized snow shovellers of scarsdale