Attention Grabber Gifts

"I give all new teachers the same advice. First you have to get the attention of the class. Can you quack like a duck or juggle two books in the air?"

"Oh, oh! I see cameras! They're here for me. Photo op time! Out of my way, fools!"

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

'Seriously folks...'

As Seen On TV

"Kind of makes you wonder what he'll do next for attention."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"See? You don't need fancy window displays to attract attention...just get some police tape!"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Likes: $2.

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

How to engage an audience

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

Mentioning 'Sex'

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

'We're here to talk to your son about his website...'

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

The End of the Worker Bees

"I need you to line up by attention span."

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

Attention surplus

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'