Attention Analyst Gifts

'Your attention span is not very long.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Light Bulb Moment

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

The Life of Pi

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

Likes: $2.

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Perhaps this slide whistle can better illustrate what this graph is telling us."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"Was that my pager or yours?"