Attention Gifts

Look At Me I'm Still Wearing Shorts.

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

Likes: $2.

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"Office of quality assurance"

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

Mentioning 'Sex'

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

"You say in your resume that you're very meticulous."

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'Fersteimer believes in strictly minding his own business.'

"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."

'Hey, hey -- You've got to stay focussed.'

Attention surplus

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

Media Whore Raceway.

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'