Attending Wimbledon Pillows

"It's the racket season again!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

The commentators want to run the officials...

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

I love tennis

Murray out of Wimbledon...

When John Isner got home

'My client's human rights have been violated by deporting him before the good weather and Andy Murray's win.'

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

You can take the girl out of Wimbledon...

Paris clean up before Olympics

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

Soccer Fans.

'Is it Wimbledon fortnight already?'

'He wasn't too keen on you returning his serves.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

Not My Coronation Quiche

'Sorry, sarge! I was trying to get an invite to the wedding!'

"Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?"

'A puff of cloud! Quick, close our expensive new roof!'

"Do you think the atmosphere would be better if the roof was closed?"

'Actually, have you got any raspberries....?'

'C'mon the one with the frilly knickers!'

'No wonder they call him the Cat - he gives the defence kittens!'

I don't know much about Tennis...

'Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?'