Attending Wimbledon Pillows

"It's the racket season again!"

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

Monica Seles

Pete Sampras

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

Novak Djokovic

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

The commentators want to run the officials...

Light RELIEF for England . . . PHEW!

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

I love tennis

Murray out of Wimbledon...

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

When John Isner got home

'My client's human rights have been violated by deporting him before the good weather and Andy Murray's win.'

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

You can take the girl out of Wimbledon...

Soccer Fans.

Paris clean up before Olympics

'Is it Wimbledon fortnight already?'

'He wasn't too keen on you returning his serves.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

'C'mon the one with the frilly knickers!'

'Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?'

'Actually, have you got any raspberries....?'

'No wonder they call him the Cat - he gives the defence kittens!'

'A puff of cloud! Quick, close our expensive new roof!'

'Sorry, sarge! I was trying to get an invite to the wedding!'

Not My Coronation Quiche

Martina Hingis

"Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?"