Wimbledon Watcher Pillows

'Advantage' (Tennis player has huge racket).

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

I love tennis

'Do we have to go through this every year Henman says he can win Wimbledon?'

'Extinct species' 'England Wimbledon Champ'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Tennis

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

"Do you think the atmosphere would be better if the roof was closed?"

"I'm sorry but after 'Henman Hill' and 'Murray Mound' we're really only interested in supporting players whose names rhyme with the local topography."

"Have you considered the potential advantages of having a professional coach?"

"Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?"

"Quiet please... the players are about to begin grunting."

Tennis player

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'C'mon the one with the frilly knickers!'

Anyone for tennis?

Tennis.

Wimbledon Queue.

Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?

'Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?'

'As usual, the tie-break proved something of a conversation stopper.'

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

"All the atmosphere of 'Henman Hill', but without the travel costs!"

Tennis

'My client's human rights have been violated by deporting him before the good weather and Andy Murray's win.'

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Bird Torture.

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'I wonder what he is thinking about...'