Wimbledon Watchers Pillows

'The new roof will not only keep the rain out, but also keep the grunting in'

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'Einsteiners.'

Monica Seles

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Novak Djokovic

'The English player has hit the net more times than the entire England team in the football World Cup!'

"That's us stocked up for the Wimbledon final then..."

Incorrect weather forecasts.

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

I love tennis

Murray out of Wimbledon...

'My client's human rights have been violated by deporting him before the good weather and Andy Murray's win.'

When John Isner got home

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

"It's the racket season again!"

Dog watched 'Fire Hydrants of the Rich and Famous.'

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

Footbalistas - A group of people passionately dedicated to the all-day broadcast of professional sports."

Bill Tilden

You can take the girl out of Wimbledon...

Stay Tuned

'Is it Wimbledon fortnight already?'

"The new government whip takes the job seriously!"

'He wasn't too keen on you returning his serves.'

"Damn! Trust me to get a seat behind the umpire!"

'Are you going to watch Wimbledon all night?'

"We do have channel blocker, but my kid won't show me how to use it."

'Actually, have you got any raspberries....?'

I don't know much about Tennis...

"Do you think the atmosphere would be better if the roof was closed?"

Martina Hingis

'A puff of cloud! Quick, close our expensive new roof!'