Attending A Political Rally Gifts

Mrs. Wallace complains...

'Is our tent getting smaller, or are we fat cats just getting fatter?'

"Away with the warmonger!"

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

"Those MORONS! I have way more chest hair than THAT! Ha!"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

"Look! It's the Montgomerys from the breast-cancer walk."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

"They call me the king of railroad salvage - 'they' being my wife, actually."

'Here. Don't forget to put on your 'party face'.'

Explosives: Libyan Oil

"At least we've got a nice day for it..!"

"He's my escort, and he's a teddy bear."

"Ok, no more political arguments, you know I'm on the left."

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"We're going have to build higher walls."

'On the Internet we found weapons of mass intrusion.'

'I don't know -- maybe an evil robot from the future IS the kind of President we need.'

Hillary Clinton

"Place your left hand on the Bible, raise your right hand, and repeat after me, 'Wow, I can't believe this is happening to me.'"

New Windrush Statue deported to Rwanda.

"Say, isn't that Rudy Giuliani?"

Holy Moses!

"Two strikes, how about I throw you a slow ball?"

'It was a very friendly reception - the Democrats even registered me to vote!'