Attendance Promoter Gifts

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

'How fast can you hype?'

Create some buzz!

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

'I've been made junior partner.'

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Number of Overdoses in U.S. Continues to Incease

"Welcome to Truancy Prevention 101."

"I wanted to talk to the boss about the alarming sick leave level but ten minutes ago he called in sick..."

Employment Dept. Fill Out Job Applications Here. This application form has too much space for "work experience" and not enough for "leisure activities."

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

"Big promotion for you Khanna - from Data Scientist to Big Data Scientist."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

"So much for that publicity stunt."

The reason why moments like this are utterly wasted on advertising people...

"I've got to take this. It's somebody at a much better party."

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

"Have you considered an ounce of prevention?"

"May the good Lord bless this Town Council for the revival of our religious invocations. We thank Thee in the name of Jesus Christ!"

4 x 4s - buy one, get one free.

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

'I appreciate the new title, Mr Boyle, but what I could really use is a raise.'

'Actually I worked my way up from 'ideas'.'

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

"The GOOD news is that your promotion puts you in charge of the team, the BAD news is you ARE the team."

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

"Why do you have to come? Because I went to your Super Bowl, that's why."