Attachment Parenting Advocates Pillows

"Is she breastfeeding in public?! That's disgusting!"

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

First Steps

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

"We've gone old fashioned and decided against finding out the sex of my obstetrician."

'Then, after a while, the pitter patter of tiny running shoes.'

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

Mobile phone damage to children.

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

'Hang on. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Apparently that's not a good idea.'

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

Breastfeeding

"Adulits don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAAAH!"

'We want to be ready for when he starts to read.'

'I'm begging you, please don't let me go!'

"Actually, he's developing at an absolutely normal rate for his age..!"

"She seems nice. A little clingy... but nice."

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

"Podca-a-a-a-a-a-ast!!!"

Next On The Agenda

'She can't answer when I call, but she loves the ring tone.'

"Is there something wrong with the car, Mom?"

Children Influenced By Parent's Behaviour

Joel's mum was very strict. . . No homework, no air guitar.

'My dad is really strong and he also has extra-cool fine motor skills: He can use tools!'

"Dad, sparklers are for kids!"

"Helicopter parent is old school. Now we have drone parents."

'He took his first step!'

"I adore kids, but I also adore Netflix."