Athletic First Responder Gifts

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

'Relax, dude - I got your back.'

Frontline health workers

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

First aid departments

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

Whale-to-whale resuscitation

First Aid Box

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

Emergency Underpants

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

Paramedics.

"My God, now what?"

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"Sorry, we only do cats in trees."

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

Why dogs hate CPR.

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

Musical Accidents

"I've got a pulse!"

'Hang on, Donny - Heimlin...Heinlit..dang! How do you spell that thing'

"The Catlich Maneuver"

First aid and sculpture

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

"If the pandemic wipes out the locusts, and the floods take care of the drought, then we may not have to take any action at all."

"I'll put you on the waiting list."

First Responders - Second Responders.