Athletic Competition Gifts

Craig Mottram

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Football Fans

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Church for sports worshipers.

Bowled over again!

"Portrait of a Lady"

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

What McWit lacks in speed he gains in nose.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Can our software do that?'

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

'Hang in there, Larry, those endorphins will soon kick in.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'