Astrophysicists Gifts

Meteorite cleanup

Cheese in space

'We just received a radio signal from Tau-Upsilon that was utter drivel. Do you suppose it was one of their TV shows?'

Atoms Coach

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I take it you don't think much of our idea to turn the moon into a spaceship...I had an expert help me with the logistics, so we'll split the prize money when we will.'

Occu-Pie Mars

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

International Women's Day.

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'Teenagers!'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Look what I found, dad!"

'But what is the universe for?'

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Lemme know when you’re ready to howl at it."

"Houston - you will Not believe this!"

Interdisciplinary studies.

"Hey Pete, why do you think they call it a 'Supermoon?'"

"A full moon! It's like Mother Nature turning on a night light!"

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

Boptimism

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."