Astrology And Fossils Gifts

'And they say our brains were the size of a walnut.'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

65 Million Years Ago

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

The Big Tipper

Planting by the Moon.

"This connect the dots is taking FOREVER!"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

'Horoscope, stay indoors and keep your mouth shut.' 'So, no dentist.'

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"I don't like space."

"I must say, that was a very detailed answer to my 'where do you see yourself in five years' question."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'We're an equal opportunity employer and we do not discriminate against sex, race, religion, age, or astrological sign.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"Hurray! I discovered a new planet!"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.