Astro-nerds Gifts

'To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the International Date Line myself.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"I'm your sun!"

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Since the military isn't known for doing things for the sake of science, why would they want to figure out how they can people to another solar system.'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

"Is that the Sun or the Moon?"

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

"According to my readings the moon really is made of cheese. Judging by its consistency, I think we've landed in Brie!!"

"Romance beckons, don't hold back, adventure awaits, Pisces in picture..."

"Your moon is squaring Saturn, so I can tell you're shy and withdrawn."

Why we only see one side of the moon

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

"I've always felt I was a Taurus trapped in a Libra's body."

'I don't get it - this place is too small to have any gravity.'

'...Sir, can you please repeat you order. I can't understand.'

Daily horoscope: Taurus.