Astro-nerds Gifts

'To be perfectly honest, I don't understand the International Date Line myself.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

'Warning: Use of oversized apertures or antennas will void warranty,'

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

Astrology meets computer science. You think all computers are gemine? Yeah, they're born under a binary system.

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

Pentagon Science Contest: 'Since the military isn't known for doing things for the sake of science, why would they want to figure out how they can people to another solar system.'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

"I'm your sun!"

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

"Is that the Sun or the Moon?"

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

"According to my readings the moon really is made of cheese. Judging by its consistency, I think we've landed in Brie!!"

"From now on, I'd prefer to be called the Venti Dipper."

'Bugger!'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

"Romance beckons, don't hold back, adventure awaits, Pisces in picture..."

How come Mercury gets the car pool lane? He's alone and we've got all these moons!

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

Is removing the lid fm a jar of pickles easier in zero gravity?

Why we only see one side of the moon

"Your moon is squaring Saturn, so I can tell you're shy and withdrawn."

'...Sir, can you please repeat you order. I can't understand.'

'I don't get it - this place is too small to have any gravity.'

"I've always felt I was a Taurus trapped in a Libra's body."