Astro-jokester T-Shirts

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"The stars were much more beautiful from Earth."

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Not now, Oliver."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"And where do you see yourself in the next 7-8 billion years?"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'And on June 30th of that same year, you used The Bible as a coaster?'

Physics Improv. "I now vill be taking suggestions from ze audience..."

'Don't you hate it when they look BACK at you?'

Cosmonaughty

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

Mike had learnt by heart the whole training manual, apart from the most important bit.

'But it may be easier to understand the meaning of bioengineered life.'

"It's the formula for a black hole."

'Lately, I've been thinking a lot about evolution. My theory is that it all points to 'survival of the fattest'.'

"Apparently, I'm fun, but I'm no fun in bed."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

"Information is moved via neurotransmitters from neuron to neuron via the synapses into the brain where it is then retrieved by the memory via a slap on the back of the head."

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'Todd don't be such a clown...'