Assisted Living Gifts

Darby and Joan zimmer frame tandem

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

Dog on man's stair lift

"Better start moving towards shelter: the weather forecast is for rain this afternoon..."

Handle With Care

Senior Jeopardy!

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

Sloth 10K.

Of course, the rent on the fourth floor is considerably higher.

Which vaccines did they have when you were young? You cannot get under my skin, loser. Were you vaccinated against the black plague? Not bothering me. Were you vaccinated against leprosy? I am unaffected by you. Were you vaccinated against the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs? Munch mun - When's the last time someone shoved a syrupy pancake down your pants?

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

'You see doctor I've been increasingly Forgetful.'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

New Hampshire Minute

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'No it's still not fixed'

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

Cat and Broom

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"While you're at it, can you do something with him? He can't remember a thing!"

'It's a pretty lame disappearing act Darling: I think we'd better hire a real Magician for Timmy's birthday party...'

Yeah? Delivery! Come on up!

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

"Things moving too fast. We need to get back to our roots. And grubs."