Aspiring Psychic T-Shirts

'You will be stuck in this crummy job for another 15 years.'

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

Psychic diving competition.

Young Houdini

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"Now, if only Daddy were rich and Mommy were good-looking, everything would be totally awesome."

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

"Nothing - he's ghosting you."

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

"You like people and people respond to that."

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'I love you and your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'I just love reading your mind. No big words.'

"What can you tell me about my life?"

'Are you going to bowl or are you going to peek into the future?'

"Turn me into a toad if you want to, but you still have to post the nutritional information on your brew."

"I'm not having trouble reading your mind, but the typos and grammatical errors are frustrating. . ."

"He may be a child prodigy, but it's still a lousy C.V."

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

"And for my next act I will escape from a galvanized-iron can filled with water and secured by massive locks."

"Accidentally flying onstage does not count as 'doing Shakespeare in the Park.' "

"I've had those books for years. They represent the person I once aspired to be."

'You'd thin he'd do more with his mind control.'

"You like to drink toilet water, roll in poop, and sniff butts..."