Aspiring Psychic Gifts

'You will be stuck in this crummy job for another 15 years.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

Psychic diving competition.

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

Books: Self-Improvement Just keeping up with Joneses.

All our servers are locally caught from a sustainable source — the actors' academy across the street.

"Oh, a resume is not necessary. I know all about you."

"First let me say that your father and I really, really wanted to like your performance."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

"Now, if only Daddy were rich and Mommy were good-looking, everything would be totally awesome."

'Nothing doing folks, except ? surprise, surprise ? here's another for you, Desert Island Bloke.'

'Good lick with your future acting career. And just to give you an idea of how tough it is out there, here's a copy of 'Withnail and I'. The uncut version.'

'I'm playing a crowd member in the Easter pageant. I was going to play Pilate 'til I found out I'd have to wash my hands.'

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

"You like people and people respond to that."

How to win Genius Grants for Dummies!

'I love you and your father loves you. Now go paint a masterpiece.'

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'I just love reading your mind. No big words.'

'Are you going to bowl or are you going to peek into the future?'

"I'm not having trouble reading your mind, but the typos and grammatical errors are frustrating. . ."

"I've had those books for years. They represent the person I once aspired to be."

'I'm sorry, Mr. Pringle, you failed the acid test. We won't be hiring you.'

"Accidentally flying onstage does not count as 'doing Shakespeare in the Park.' "

"He may be a child prodigy, but it's still a lousy C.V."

"And for my next act I will escape from a galvanized-iron can filled with water and secured by massive locks."

'You'd thin he'd do more with his mind control.'