Aspiring Monks Pillows

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

"You took a vow of poverty, celibacy and silence. But aren't they the marriage vows."

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

"A movie deal, a recording contract, clothing line, rehab, first marriage, fragrance, baby, second marriage, reality show …"

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

"Turn me into a toad if you want to, but you still have to post the nutritional information on your brew."

"And for my next act I will escape from a galvanized-iron can filled with water and secured by massive locks."

'You will be stuck in this crummy job for another 15 years.'

"Accidentally flying onstage does not count as 'doing Shakespeare in the Park.' "

'Remember, my dear, it's just a starter castle.'

"Only when you master the Carry Forward Dedcution Defence will it be time for you to go."

'Nobody ever said that being a youth pastor would be EASY.'

'I've invented a cloak of invisibility. I just put it over your head and you can't see me."

Man of La Muncha.

'Hey! -- This is supposed to be a spiritual retreat!'

'When I grow up I want to be a rock star.'

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. Disregard this baloney if you're asthmatic."

"No, mine has a gold band with diamonds, fleurs-de-lis, and four arches topped by a jewelled cross."

'Great idea to give the kid this.... magic set.'

Upside down sign offers Yoga Classes.

"Papi, I'm planning my future. How much money do you have in my college fund?"

"In a previous life, I was married to Shirley MacLaine."

'Oh, you don't need a prescription. You just need to refrain from everything you enjoy.'

"No, not really. I could probably tell you a thing or two about the meaning of life but I would like to know where the loo is."

'When I took the vow, I didn't even know what chastity meant.'

'Of course I understand that you want to follow you daddy's footsteps but I doubt that any employer will pay you for watching TV, eating crisps and drinking beer.'