Aspiring Magician Pillows

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

'Great idea to give the kid this.... magic set.'

'I've invented a cloak of invisibility. I just put it over your head and you can't see me."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"I'm watching the dog cheat at solitaire."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Quit clowning about, Fred.'

Children's Imagination

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

Young Houdini

Child steps off chair and says, 'Tough crowd.'(Cat looks impassive)

The Amazing Mr Sausage

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

Biographies. Don Rickles for Dummies

"She gets her musical ability from me."

"That'll be the day!"

"I've made a fortune as a successful artist! I couldn't see this happening if I became a soldier or a worker..."

'Mummy, Mummy, I've been practising the whole afternoon: Wanna hear my evil laugh?'

'Remind me again, Dad. Why did you want me to get that college degree?'

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'