Aspiring Zen Master Pillows

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind and cashflow."

"No, not really. I could probably tell you a thing or two about the meaning of life but I would like to know where the loo is."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

Annoying neighbours - irritating wind chimes

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

"Hoarder."

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

Relax.

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'