Aspiring Listener T-Shirts

"It was cool. She said I need to be a better listener. At least I think that's what she said."

Audio Books

What else is there to wish for?

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

Shell Pods

"Nobody at school will laugh at me."

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'There you go again - trying to solve my problems. I am not asking you to do that. I just want you to listen to me.'

"Go ahead. Tell me your troubles. I promise to say 'Awww' in all the right places."

Attention Span Man

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

"She gets her musical ability from me."

Science Applied to Art

"If you think I talk too much, you should come right out say so! That way we can talk about it."

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

"I'll knock 10% off this session as I wasn't really listening."

"Doctor, I find you very easy to talk to."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

"How did I get to be the only one that listens?"

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

Ventriloquism for Dummies.

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

Patient is listening to the doctors conference about him.

"For today's punishment, you'll be listening to my mom talk about her foot pain."

"Remind me what I was talking about—I wasn't listening."

"My super powers are listening and downsizing my life."

Listenin' in