Aspiring Huntsman Gifts

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XI

What else is there to wish for?

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

Pointing.

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"I've been genetically modified!"

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

The Amateur Golfer

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

A scarecrow goalie

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

I'm trying out for the spring play. You'll be great! Ha! You'll be grateful to be an usher, Meryl Creep. Yeah. The good parts go to real actors. Sigh. The arts are sooo uplifting.

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

'Want to squeeze a lifetime of hunting into one day? Go with Ben!'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

'How do you expect me to fine tune my act if you keep taking me to the principal's office?

Always stick to the script.

Spin Dentistry...'Hollywood, here I come...'

'Jeff! You need to keep one foot on the ground!'

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'