Aspiring Bard Gifts

"Accidentally flying onstage does not count as 'doing Shakespeare in the Park.' "

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

What else is there to wish for?

"I'm gonna be a 'New Yorker' cartoonist. You're not supposed to understand it."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

Children's Imagination

"Obviously, I can't fly like you, but if you teach me, I can probably sing like you..."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

Brian, I hope you're taking this seriously.

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

I want to be a lawn!

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

"I've made a fortune as a successful artist! I couldn't see this happening if I became a soldier or a worker..."

"She gets her musical ability from me."

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

'Well, that does not yet look like a wall. Try it again, Liam!'

"That'll be the day!"

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

"I owe my success to him. I figured, if he can make it, so can I."

'I need to practice painting the human figure, MOM! Models cost money!"

"I've been an emerging artist for ten years now..."

To tweet, or not to tweet - that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the snark and the venomous replies of anonymous jerks

'To blog or not to blog, that is the question...' Shakespeare in the 21st Century

"I'd better get a hit country song out of growing up this way."

"If you wish to see your artwork displayed, don't forget your bio."

yesterday i brought my son this magic set and...

The play was soo much fun! You were great, Sally! Do I know you? I was your #3 attendant in scene 2. Attendants are seen and not heard. Are you going into the theater, Twig? Yes. I'm going to write plays where the pretty girls get it. Ah, revenge! The wellspring of great art.