Aspiring Angelic Executive Gifts

"One final question: If we were to hire you, where do you see yourself in five years?"

"I thought there would be bacon here."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"This is neither Heaven nor Hell. It's the private sector."

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"Well, if I can't get an increase based on merit, how about one based on the cost of living beyond my means?"

"Shouldn't be long before we're at the top."

Man flying to heaven on small angel wings

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'Eternity isn't bad, so long as they allow us to day-trade.'

"I enjoyed your request for a raise. I've seldom read a more aspirational document."

"If our proposal's a success, control yourself and don't start running around the room barking."

"I was an attorney, but I was also one heck of a nice guy."

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

"It has yet to turn a profit."

"It's very nice. I just think they could add a spa."

'Management says we've had it too good for too long. They're demanding concessions.'

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

Danger! Snake heaven.

'I realize this might be carping but I never did live long enough to enjoy my IRA account.'

Marriage Heaven

'He's back! He just couldn't stand the idea of the stock market going up without him.'

"Great, just my luck."

'Thank you for contacting The Pearly Gates. Your call may be monitored for training purposes...'

"Can someone have a word with Jenkins about his dress code? Quite frankly, it's unprofessional."

Angel talking to broker

'Sorry, the 'Guns Everywhere' law is not in effect up here!'