Artsy Jailbird Gifts

'Hey! Knock it off, will ya?'

Still Life With Nordic Track

Girl to boy: 'If flowers could fly, they'd be butterflies.'

"White Collar Prison"

Sub-Zero BRAIN FREEZE

Roger feels that there are only two inante instincts in men and women. One is satisfaction of biological needs...the other is self-actualization.

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

"The Sky... Was Beyond Description"

Lovers dressed as pears

Exhibition for Prisoners

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

Cross-country knitting.

A depressed artist imagines a drawing, but it turns black.

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

Sir Lionel Murgatroyd

"How would you feel about inviting my family for Thanksgiving dinner?"

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'It always looks that way. I'm cartoonist.'

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

Rodin's Block

"If you're such a good artist how I come I can't buy any of your stuff on a mug?"

When artists have day jobs.

Joker in jail

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Pimlico

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

Bach in the Box

"Ok stranger - you draw first...."

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'