Jailbirds Gifts

'Give it a rest, will you -- We're ALL bored'

"White Collar Prison"

"Regards from the kids, grandma, mom and pop, uncle Fred , Aunt Theresa and cousins Harvey, Flo and Niki. They all want to know where you hid the loot."

Exhibition for Prisoners

'My biggest mistake was to make a 'death-bed confession'... then I made a full recovery!'

"I'm the first one in my family to do time."

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

"Miss Robins, get me a ladder and a hacksaw, if you will, please."

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Joker in jail

''Where do you see yourself in five years'? That's a stupid question! You know darn well I'll be finishing 5-years of a 25-year sentence!'

"The reason I never get any visitors is because all my family and friends are in here!"

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

Love in prison.

'Your mother reckons you look like your baby photos now without your dandruff, dear.'

'Look on the bright side -- we could still be in the MARKET.'

'It was sort of like a penalty for early withdrawal. The bank hadn't opened yet.'

'MY doctor says I don't get out enough!'

'Forget about it, we all try it when we arrive here, but it's a concrete floor...'

'So what's your recommendation? I suggest a tunnel.'

'There. Now you have the job security you've always wanted.'

"It's no good you hiding, Whacker. Your release date's today and that's final!"

"It's the hard knocks life for us..."

Con Artist.

"I believe thr guv'nor used to own a boarding house in Blackpool."

"I consider myself fortunate. All the guys I grew up with are either dead or attorneys."

"I took the money and ran, but unfortunately, not fast enough."

'You'll 'ave a lovely Christmas in ere, son. Just don't go too near the mistletoe.'